Yesterday, I came back to this site prompted by an artist friend, Shebana Coelho. She suggested I ask myself “What do I want to write?” – do this five days and post the answers. This is post number two. And if you are a subscriber, know you will likely get an email notifying you of my posts. I hope the unsolicited daily emails don’t feel intrusive or bothersome. I guess, I wanted to to write to tell you this – though I didn’t know so, when I came to the page.

I did have the intention to write that being human is a messy business.

HA!

I just jumped from here to my original ABOUT page and see that back in 2011 when I started this blog, I was already putting my attention to the mess, the ugly, the beast of us and our shared humanity. I also put my attention to the beauty of us being humans – of us humans being. I still do. I see and I have repeatedly experienced the beauty and the beast of how we relate to ourselves, each other, the planet and the collective creative process of life and living together.

Deep inhale.

Deep exhale.

I type this sentence: “In 2016, when I broke from these pages, I could not have imagined how my life would be now.”

I rapidly cast my attention across various scenes from the past decade. Tears start falling. A tiny smile emerges. Death. Betrayal, Despair. Beauty and joy in forms I did not know existed. Kindness. Compassion. Repair.

I delete that sentence I typed.

I close my eyes and place my palms together and put them in front of my heart.

Deep Inhale.

Deep Exhale.

I re-type the deleted sentence.

I type more sentences to tell you a bit of what happened after I typed the sentence initially.

Maybe the question “What do I want to write?” is morphing into “How do I want to write?”

Maybe the answer to both questions is “I want to write about being human. I want to say out loud that for me language and words feel like raw material for the instrument I was destined to play, to be in this lifetime. I want to experiment with form and content, with complete and incomplete sentences, with exhibiting the physicality of being alive, with…

The list is open-ended, mutable and includes possibilities which I cannot now imagine.

Ahh, yes. Outer edges of eyes crinkle to start a smile, Shoulders drop a little and chest softens. I want to write how I want to live: freely, openly, playfully – all the while surrendering to infinite creative possibility.